Have you ever felt trapped inside your own body? Have you ever started something because you were motivated by fear? Have you ever reached your breaking point? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. For me, these three yes’s mark the beginning of my personal journey to holistic wellness.
I was overweight from an early age, but it wasn’t until I got to middle school that I first started to feel self-conscious about the extra pounds I carried. Every shopping trip ended with tears because I couldn’t fit into the clothes in the Juniors’ section, and what middle school girl wants to shop in the Misses Department? Subsequently, I started turning down offers to hang out with friends on the weekends because I couldn’t find anything I felt confident enough to wear out in public. And let’s not even talk about swimsuit shopping…. My self-esteem sank a bit lower with each battle I lost in the fitting room. Finally, I hit my breaking point. I vividly remember laying on my parents’ bed and weeping, taunted and terrified by the question, “How could anyone every want to marry me if I am so fat?”
Thinking back on this memory breaks my heart. These aren’t the thoughts that should be preoccupying the mind of a middle school girl. But there I was, broken and fearful I’d never be worthy of love unless I was able to lose the extra weight. Motivated by fear and self-disgust, that is exactly what I set out to do.
I began walking each day after school, made some simple improvements to my eating habits, and the magic started happening. Over the course of 5 months, I managed to lose 45 pounds before I started high school. I was elated about this scale victory! For the first time in my adolescence I felt proud of my physical appearance. Although this newfound confidence gave me the courage to be myself, no longer concealing my shame underneath baggy clothes, it also distracted me from the fact that there was a bigger health issue still left to be dealt with – my heart and my mind still remained unchanged.
My physical transformation of losing weight was the genesis of my passion for learning about nutrition. I did not just want to know what to eat to be healthy, but why certain foods were so beneficial for my body and why others were not. It was this intense interest in health and nutrition that led me to pursue my degree in Health Psychology in college. However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized how desperately my heart and mind also needed some “training”. Previously, I had viewed my physical health, my emotional health, and my spiritual health as three unrelated aspects of wellness. But in His mercy, the Lord surrounded me with resources – books, classes, mentors – that led me understand how intricately inseparable these three facets of health truly are.
Once I learned to view my physical, emotional, and spiritual health as integrated puzzle pieces that make up the full picture of holistic wellness, I found the path to true freedom. I still strive to walk along this path daily, as my journey to holistic wellness is still in full pursuit. And the progress I have made along the way did not happen overnight. While at times, I would have given anything to speed up the process, it holds true that “slow and steady wins the race”. As much as the world will try to convince you otherwise, there is no need for a lifestyle overhaul. True and lasting change, the kind that leads to freedom, happens one step at a time. Are you up for the challenge? Let’s walk this journey together!