I have always had a love for words. I love learning new words to add into my vocabulary. If I come across a new word in a book as I am reading, I can’t move on to the next page until the new word has been highlighted, circled, defined, and fully understood. Being a lover of words, I was excited when Dr. Keen asked me to author the blogs that would be featured in our weekly Crossroads Newsletter (like this one). However, after eagerly stepping into this new task of blogging, I noticed a powerful tension at work within me.
It seemed as if every week that I would sit down to write my blog post, I was met by a wall of writer’s block constructed out of feelings of frustration, anxiety, and self-doubt. At first, this wall surprised me. Where did it come from? What was keeping me from moving past it? As time went on, I began to anticipate and dread this obtrusive wall that seemed to reconstruct itself every time I sat down to write. My expectancy of being met by the wall began to suck the joy out of writing altogether and left me feeling defeated.
I truly felt the Lord was calling me to write more, and I believed the opportunity to start blogging was an answer to my prayer for God to use the gift of words He has given me. But if this was true, why then did I feel so bound up in these negative emotions every time I would sit down to put words on paper?
Through honestly sharing my struggle with some sisters in Christ and inviting the Lord to guide me in my introspection, I discovered there are some subtle lies that have remained discreetly hidden in my heart, looking for an opportunity to grow their roots down deeper. These lies raise their ugly heads when I sit down to write and for months have been stealing my love for words. But now they have been found out, exposed, and brought into the light where they will be placed on trial against the truth of God’s Word. So next time they try to accuse me and tempt me to buy into their false claims, I will hold up the sword of truth, and remind them that the One True Judge just so happens to be my Heavenly Father. Against Him and His Word, the lies stand no chance.
What area(s) of your life do you feel like you are being met by a wall that keeps you walking in the fullness of what God is calling you to?
What is the wall constructed of?
What lies have been accusing you and need to be put on trial against the Truth of the One True Judge?